You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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