Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
