I love having hate sex.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
