I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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