So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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