im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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