God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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