ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
