OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
