she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
