He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
