That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
