well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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