He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Did I show you my penis last night?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
