the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
