Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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