I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize