We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
