he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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