If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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