I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
