Sry I called you an 8
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
