we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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