There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
