Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
