Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
