dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
