Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
