4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
