Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
