She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
