i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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