Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
