Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
