My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
