Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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