There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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