I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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