I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
sex in a hospital.. check
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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