my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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