What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
