I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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