JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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