I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
