Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
