Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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