I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
