what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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