She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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