you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
